Posted by Margi on Jun 25, 2012
I am always mesmerized by my friend and spiritual angel Morgine Jurdan and her beautiful messages. I would like to share what she wrote with you this month. Hope there is something beautiful you can take away and utilize in your life. Enjoy!
Are Your Unconscious Addictions holding your Authenticity Hostage?
It is said, we cannot release and let go of something unless we KNOW it is there in the first place, just like an alcoholic recognizing their habit, or a drug user, a child molester and so on. In my waking up process, I have come to recognize I have been living many different kinds of addictions! Habitual patterns of thinking and beliefs, action and ways of being, which have prevented me from making “conscious choices” in my life. Things which prevented me from adopting new patterns, like writing daily, or exercising, reading, doing something joyful. I have spent thousands of dollars on workshops, books, coaching to become myself, to be “more authentically me” without a huge amount of success! I often lacked passion and purpose and felt like I was the “only one” being left behind!
Over two decades ago I read a book by Annne Wilson Schaef called “When Society Becomes Addict” and I learned there were many different kinds of addictions. In addition to addictions to physical things like food and drugs, we can also be addicted to Perfectionism, Forgetfulness, Dependency, Negativism, Tunnel Vision, Frozen Feelings, Judgmentalism and so much more!! Have you ever promised yourself to spend less time on the computer checking emails, and somehow it rarely happened? You intended to only eat a couple squares of that chocolate bar, or a handful of nuts…. and yet a half hour later, they are all gone? Your body felt full after eating only half a plate of very delicious food, yet before you got up from the table, the plate was clean! You really want to take a walk every day and easily quit. You can also be addicted to exercising daily no matter if you feel sick, daily meditation, using certain brands of products and so much more!
I am coming OUT of the Closet because some of you might find yourself unconsciously being imprisoned by your own addictive habits as well! You have been searching for answers and they lie right within your own grasp! If you cannot let go of drinking your coffee for just a week, checking emails many times a day, exercising no matter what, even taking a shower, there is something else running your life! I remember one of the hardest homework assignments I had in a class and the teacher really pegged me well! I had to leave my bed totally unmade for a week! It about drove my “neatness freak inside me” crazy!!! It seems silly, however, I was traumatized every day looking at that messy bed and what would other people think about me????
Yet I realized that week, how “habitual” my life had become!! This week I woke up to this fact again, and how I have been living a lot on “automatic,” instead of making Conscious Choices moment by moment! I simply cannot live My Authenticity when I allow these patterns to hold me hostage any more!! I cannot live the real me by playing small, refusing to change and do new things, step out in front of people and take risks, stop doing the same old things while expecting new results!! Cheri Huber taught me, “How you do anything is how you do everything.” I tried, very unsuccessfully, to prove her wrong!!
I could go on, and I will end here. I just wanted to share this Awakening Moment because perhaps in my willingness to be Vulnerable here, you might see some part of yourself looking back in the mirror. I have given up showering for a week in the past, just to show myself I could live through it and still be accepted by the world at large! Then I found many people in Europe only shower once a week! I remember a Feldenkrais class where our homework was to “intentionally do something a different way” every day. Brush our teeth with an opposite hand, or eat with our hands instead of a fork, drive a different way to work, eat a new food, and so on. Our bodies often are totally imprisoned by the Habitual Ways we move every single day of our lives without any effort to change. We walk, eat, get dressed, drive our car without thinking about how we are moving our bodies, and so even though the body hurts, we have become addicted to moving a certain way and refuse to change, even to release the pain.
If you desire to live a life of PASSION and AUTHENTICITY, you might need to be more Aware to where you have become unconscious in your day and begin to make changes. Living Authentically, requires listening to, and following our intuitive, loving, inner guidance. We cannot be authentic when we are living a life on automatic, conforming to habits which are not serving us, ways of thinking and being which allow us to “fit in,” instead of stand out, and which prevent us from making more conscious choices and Following Through with them every day!!
Making Conscious Choices allows our Magnificence, our Uniqueness, our Authenticity to shine through and the world desires this NOW more than ever!! Are you living your life or is your life living you? What can You let go of this week or change, to see if something is holding You hostage? What is something you can do in a totally New way?
Loving and Appreciating Myself, and each of you!! Morgasmic Morgine
www.morginejurdan.com
www.communicationswithlove.com
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